The Summertime Shuffle, part 2
Continuing with our theme from a few weeks ago, here's what I've learned from doing "the summertime shuffle," that time of year when you have stepkids visiting for the summer, or your own kids head off to visit the other parents for a time:
3. Ease into things. As much as you want to fill your children's summer days right away with fun and exciting educational adventures, like going to the zoo, the beach, the art museum and the annual blueberry-picking festival; remember that your kids may not be as gung-ho as you are. Try not to overschedule their visitation (or their return). Sometimes just hanging out at home is all they want to do.
4. Have a backup plan. Your stepkids arrive with hand-held video games, cell phones and ipods in hand, and barely grunt as they flop down on the sofa. After allowing them a few days for decompression (see notes #1 and #3), have a few activities in mind for the inevitable moment when they declare, "I'm bored!" Going to the movies, rollerskating, swimming, visiting your local library, hiking, miniature golf or a visit to a local state park are several options. Check your local newspaper for kid-and-teen-friendly ideas. For example: our town hosts "Mighty Mud Mania" every July in which kids under 18 can play in a gigantic mud puddle all day for free! It's messy, but it's loads of fun!
5. Don't take it personally. Remember that summer visitation means that your child has to emotionally detach from their other parent - and that is not easy. Sometimes this means you end up with a prickly, grouchy, snarky kid for a few days. While it might make you feel better to berate them about how annoying and irritating their attitude is, try to remember that it isn't about you. Always speak the truth in love, but before you say anything, stop and think: Is this necessary? Is it helpful? Is it kind? If not, then keep your opinion to yourself. (Note: I'm still working on this one!)
Above all, remember to hug your children, tell them you love them, and remind them how special they are to you - every day. "Lift up your eyes and look about you: All assemble and come to you; your sons come from afar and your daughters...you will look and be radiant, your heart will trob and swell with joy!" (Isaiah 60:4-5)
Dancing right along with you,
Enjoy the summer!
~Susan
3. Ease into things. As much as you want to fill your children's summer days right away with fun and exciting educational adventures, like going to the zoo, the beach, the art museum and the annual blueberry-picking festival; remember that your kids may not be as gung-ho as you are. Try not to overschedule their visitation (or their return). Sometimes just hanging out at home is all they want to do.
4. Have a backup plan. Your stepkids arrive with hand-held video games, cell phones and ipods in hand, and barely grunt as they flop down on the sofa. After allowing them a few days for decompression (see notes #1 and #3), have a few activities in mind for the inevitable moment when they declare, "I'm bored!" Going to the movies, rollerskating, swimming, visiting your local library, hiking, miniature golf or a visit to a local state park are several options. Check your local newspaper for kid-and-teen-friendly ideas. For example: our town hosts "Mighty Mud Mania" every July in which kids under 18 can play in a gigantic mud puddle all day for free! It's messy, but it's loads of fun!
5. Don't take it personally. Remember that summer visitation means that your child has to emotionally detach from their other parent - and that is not easy. Sometimes this means you end up with a prickly, grouchy, snarky kid for a few days. While it might make you feel better to berate them about how annoying and irritating their attitude is, try to remember that it isn't about you. Always speak the truth in love, but before you say anything, stop and think: Is this necessary? Is it helpful? Is it kind? If not, then keep your opinion to yourself. (Note: I'm still working on this one!)
Above all, remember to hug your children, tell them you love them, and remind them how special they are to you - every day. "Lift up your eyes and look about you: All assemble and come to you; your sons come from afar and your daughters...you will look and be radiant, your heart will trob and swell with joy!" (Isaiah 60:4-5)
Dancing right along with you,
Enjoy the summer!
~Susan
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