We aren't a "stepfamily"... are we?
Posted by Susan Hetrick at 8/7/2009 11:16 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: blended family stepfamily
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: blended family stepfamily
I just returned from the AMFM Conference in Phoenix, where I spoke on Strengthening Stepfamily Marriages! It was great, I made lots of connections, and met a bunch of great people in ministry. (A big HELLO to all those folks who just signed up for my monthly newsletter - sign up at www.advicefromtheblender.com)
One question had me stumped though: "How do you define a stepfamily?"
The definition of a stepfamily or blended family (and I use the terms interchangeably) is kind of nebulous! I see it as a family which is formed by the marriage of two adults, in which at least one of the adults brings a child with them to the relationship, no matter what age the child is.
That means that even if neither person has ever been married before, but one of them has a kid from a previous relationship, or through adoption, they ARE forming a stepfamily when the wedding takes place. It also means that if the two people getting married are in their 70's and they have grown children and grandchildren who don't even live with them, they are still forming a blended family, albeit one which is scattered through several homes.
Speaking of grandparents, if your adult child marries someone who already has children, you have now become a stepgrandparent - you are now part of a stepfamily! Welcome aboard the blender!
If the partners are not married, but cohabitating, and one or both of them have children, they form a psuedo-stepfamily. This is trickier, because there is no legal commitment. The relationships will have some aspects of stepfamily dynamics, but none of the responsibility.
Whatever you call it, treasure it! There's a reason God put your new family together the way He did. Make the decision to love all the members of your blending family, and see what you can learn from them today.
~Susan
One question had me stumped though: "How do you define a stepfamily?"
The definition of a stepfamily or blended family (and I use the terms interchangeably) is kind of nebulous! I see it as a family which is formed by the marriage of two adults, in which at least one of the adults brings a child with them to the relationship, no matter what age the child is.
That means that even if neither person has ever been married before, but one of them has a kid from a previous relationship, or through adoption, they ARE forming a stepfamily when the wedding takes place. It also means that if the two people getting married are in their 70's and they have grown children and grandchildren who don't even live with them, they are still forming a blended family, albeit one which is scattered through several homes.
Speaking of grandparents, if your adult child marries someone who already has children, you have now become a stepgrandparent - you are now part of a stepfamily! Welcome aboard the blender!
If the partners are not married, but cohabitating, and one or both of them have children, they form a psuedo-stepfamily. This is trickier, because there is no legal commitment. The relationships will have some aspects of stepfamily dynamics, but none of the responsibility.
Whatever you call it, treasure it! There's a reason God put your new family together the way He did. Make the decision to love all the members of your blending family, and see what you can learn from them today.
~Susan
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